William Nevill Gordon Boxer F/Mc
Married
Married: 1924
Jane Alexandra Lawriec


Neil Campbell Gordon Boxer
[CFT #4008]
Born: 1929-Nov-3
Died: 2009
m1955Nicoline (Ineke) Ralphine Joanna Stortenbekerc Anglo-American Church, The Hague
1 Marriage



b Dunfermline, Scotland

d Edinburgh



EULOGY

Neil was born on the 3rd of November 1929, the third of four sons. His father was a clergyman and his mother, a teacher. Their roles had a strong influence on the person he was to become; he was very family and community oriented and spent most of his life teaching.

As a toddler, he was very badly burned on his face and arm as a result of a traumatic accident, and was one of the first children in Scotland to receive Radium treatment. Many years later he was surprised to meet the surgeon who performed the surgery and effectively saved his life. He was always very conscious of the scarring on the right side of his face and would have liked to have grown a beard but was unable to.

Unlike today, children learned to be independent much earlier, and from the age of 5 he took the train from Pollockshields to Glasgow High by himself. He was a man who travelled far in his life starting with being evacuated with his younger brother Ron, to different places in Scotland over a period of several months. The separation from elder brothers, Ian and Ken, and his parents was difficult for everyone. Like many families they returned to Glasgow when the blitz actually began, and the bombing of Clydebank, though frightening, was actually quite exciting for the boys.

As the son of a clergyman, life revolved around the church. He sang in the choir, acted as an altar boy and was heavily involved in the work of supporting the poor, especially at Christmas time. As an altar boy he was often prompted by his father to kneel which caused confusion with his name, leading him to do the wrong thing!

At the age of 14 he moved to Edinburgh and attended George Watson's College. He was not expected to pass his Highers, and when his maths teacher realised that his star pupils had failed, and Neil had passed, he threw his gown on the floor and stamped on it in disgust.

He left school at 16 to become an apprentice with the world famous architect, Sir Basil Spence, the designer of Coventry Cathedral. While there he attended Edinburgh College of Art but, being a perfectionist, he quickly realised that a career in architecture wasn't for him. He was called up for his National Service in 1946 and stationed with the RAF near York. Like many young men of that generation, he didn't enjoy this experience and sought the familiarity if the church. He became very close friends with Grace, the elderly verger of All Saints Church in York. Although very small in stature, she was big in warmth, kindness and humour and took on the role of a courtesy aunt, and later , Godmother to Karen. He was very fond of her and she became an important part of his life.

Through Aunt Grace, Neil was taken on for a year as a teacher at a boys' prep school, which allowed him to gain the final qualification in Latin that he needed for entry to Edinburgh University. At Edinburgh he studied Economics and graduated in 1955.

In 1952 he decided to spend the summer at a post-war UNESCO reconstruction camp. He met many other students from all over the world. The camp was based at a small chateau at Olivet, near Orleans in France. Neil was amused that the reconstruction priority for the French was digging out a wine cellar in the grounds of the chateau. The summer initiated three loves in his life: Ineke, France and wine. He started digging at one end of the cellar and Ineke at the other. They met in the middle...

The second priority for the French is their food, which made mealtimes very enjoyable. Neil very quickly worked out that if he sat with the Spanish girls, who drank less of the wine, there would be more left for him!

Neil was keener to persue a relationship than Ineke, so without the encouragement, he left. On his way home he stopped in Paris and bought a dainty evening handbag and a small tin of sugared almonds, and sent them as a gift to Ineke. From then on, every Christmas, Neil bought Ineke sugared almonds. Neil visited Holland that Christmas, and despite his expectations it was not a success. However, he struck up a strong relationship with Ineke's mother, Momo. Contact was lost until September 1953 when Momo wrote to Neil telling him that Ineke would be in London on a certain date. Aunt Grace lent Neil the money to travel to London to try to find her. Not knowing where she would be, he rushed around The National Gallery, then took a bus, missed his stop and when he got off, saw Ineke standing there....and the rest is history.

To the delight of Aunt Grace, Neil and Ineke got engaged outside All Saints Church, York, and married in September 1955 in The Hague. Following a post graduate year in Cambridge, they left for Zanbia, where Karen and Colin were born. He completed two tours of colonial service as an administrative officer and magistrate, with an additional post graduate year in Oxford in between. In 1962 the family returned to Scotland. Neil started teaching at Falkirk where Freyer was born. The family then moved to Edinburgh where Neil took up his post as senior lecturer of economics at the College of Commerce, which later became Napier University. He remained there until he retired in 1989. As with their time in Africa, many of his colleagues became close family friends. A dear friend, Jonathan, from Zambia says of their friendship; "we count our life by smiles, not tears, and count our life by friends, not years".

Among his many interests he loved gardening, cooking (particularly soup), caravanning, his motorbike and classical music. Every summer was spent travelling around France ending up in a very small village called Thore, where Ineke and Neil made enduring frienships. Many of the people here will also know that Neil's main interest was making wine. At the peak of production he was making gallons of wine, generously distributed amongst his family and friends, He was also invited to bring some to Thore. Not many people would have been brave enough to import their home-made wine to France...! This resulted in him receiving the highest accolade in the village by being made a member of the ancient regional wine society, and he was awarded a medal in the annual ceremony in August 1998. It was his finest hour!

Neil loved his Honda and in his latter years he appreciated the freedom it gave him. He bought his first bike in 1973 to travel back and forth into Edinburgh from Currie. In those days helmets were without visors, which made riding a bike rather cold, so Ineke knitted him a full-face, navy blue balaclava with tiny holes for the eyes and his mouth. One night, when he went to buy petrol, the girl behind the counter refused to serve him as she thought Neil was an armed robber! It was with great sadness that, a year ago, he finally had to give up his beloved bike.

Neil's other great love in life was his family. Birthdays were occasions of great importance and the family, including in-laws, would gather to celebrate them. They all were especially happy that they were able to share the joyous occasion of his 80th birthday with him, only 2 weeks ago. There was much love, laughter, music and fun! He was completely overwhelmed by his grandsons showing their love for their granddad with the gift of a silver star.

He was a passionate convert to all things Dutch. For many years on the 5th of December, the family would mark the Dutch tradition of Saint Nicholas. This involved writing humorous and teasing poetry relating to family incidents that had occured throughout the year. It appealed to Neil's creative talents and involved elaborate creations which had to be destroyed to get to the insignificant gift inside. He continued this tradition with his grandchildren, Stuart and Cameron, as every year they were given pantomime tickets, and he would design a clever model based upon the panto theme. Another good example of this creativity was the Christmas cards he made using pressed flowers from his garden.

Neil was a great organiser and became happily involved with all family events, especially his children's weddings. His great love for his children included, Steve,Kim and Ruth. He offered Karen, Colin and Freyer, love, unconditional support and advice, even when sometimes uninvited! He was always there for them, and equally the whole family ewere there for him. At Momo's funeral he said that she had been "his greatest supporter, and his harshest critic" and this was true of Neil himself.

Neil was a great conversationalist, generous with his opinions and with many interesting tales to tell. Like his parents, he was an effective story teller and able to speak, whatever the ocassion.

In 2005, Neil and Ineke celebrated their golden wedding anniversary. The family had secretly planned and invited all their special friends from Africa, Canada, France, Holland, Jersey and all over Britain. It was a lovely and unforgetable weekend.

Neil had a strong sense of community and although they moved many times, he always became firm friends with his neighbours. In 2006, Stuart and Cameron persuaded him to move to the very friendly community of North Berwick. In the last three years he particularly enjoyed seeing more of his grandsons, meeting their friends, and becoming a greater part of their lives. The boys were a welcome distraction from his progressive illness.

In summing up Neil's character, it is perhaps most appropriate to do this in terms of his own wines:

The robustness of the bramble

The sweetness of the apple

The occasional sharpness of the elderberry

The effervescence of the elderflower, and

The warmth of the rosehip.

Neil belonged to that special group of people who are extraordinary because they put in extra effort, apart from the ordinary.

These final words are to Neil, from his Ineke:

"Goodnight, sweet Prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest".

Friday 20th November 2009



1: 1957 Karen Marijke Boxerc H/C
2: 1961 Colin Stuart Boxerc W
3: 1964 Freya Lyn Boxerc
3 Children

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